


Holocene

by crazylabscience



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylabscience/pseuds/crazylabscience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post S2 - Nearly two decades later.</p>
<p>Sometimes happy endings are bullshit.</p>
<p>When an unexpected visitor arrives at a mysterious address in France, the heavy news they're carrying may pale in comparison to the secrecy of the loaded answers. Innocence will hang in the balance, as lost love is forced back together. </p>
<p>Inspired by Holocene by Bon Iver</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Kira stood at the end of a long, narrow driveway. The stretch of blacktop from the edge of the street to the welcome mat at the front door still glistened from the late afternoon rain. The red mailbox at the curb read _D. Allard_. 

Her hand clenched the already wrinkled piece of paper in her pocket before she drew it out again. Encircled on the paper was the surname, _Allard_.

_This has to be it._

As Cal wrote it down, only hours ago, he stressed it would be a long shot that Delphine and Cosima would still be at the same address after nearly nineteen years. They were desperate. 

Sarah had been mysteriously gone for nearly two weeks. When Kira suggested them as a possibility Cal was hesitant, but they were out of options.

On the flight from Toronto to Paris, Kira mentally ran through the reunion many times. She played out all the possible scenarios, even the possibility that Cosima may have succumbed to her illness all those years ago. Perhaps Delphine made a clean break from everyone and disappeared. Regardless, she had nothing to lose at this point. Backing out wasn’t an option.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and walked up the gravel walkway, the pebbles crackling under her feet. The front door was intimidating, haunting in all that it represented at that very moment. She lifted her shaky fist and squeezed lightly before knocking.

Patiently, she smoothed out her long herringbone jacket and nervously dug her fingertips into her thigh. Kira had grown up, even without heels she stood tall, definitely taking on her father's height. She was beautiful and brilliant. Sarah never failed to remind her how much her intellect reminded her of Cosima, and each time Sarah never failed to add, “but thankfully you take after me in the looks department.”

The doorknob turned abruptly and she braced herself. This chapter of her journey was coming to an end, and she couldn’t help but feel that she was about to blow the lid off something entirely new.

Standing before her was a girl, probably about fifteen or sixteen years old at most. She leaned her weight against the frame with her arm outstretched and impatiently tapped her black fingernails against the doorjamb. She had pin straight, bleach blonde hair which hung just below her shoulders, dark roots peaked through. By the angst written on her face, she probably dyed it herself. She wore a black backwards hat and her eyebrow arched, if it wasn’t for the opaque DNA helixes on the hat, Kira would have turned around and walked back down the driveway and disappeared

Kira stared at her for longer than necessary, to which the girl asked snarkily, “Salut? Es-tu perdue?” The blonde’s eyes fluttered as her forehead creased with impatience. Kira was at a loss not understanding the language, but hurried her response.

“I, uh, is Cosima or Delphine here?” she asked, her eyes nervously darting from the girl to the hallway behind her in search for an answer.

The blonde girl leaned her head back, surprised by her spoken English, _was she American?_ She squinted her eyes and tilted her head to the side glancing Kira over, head to toe. It had been a while, but for Kira her demeanor seemed very familiar. That somewhat relieved her, even if she felt a little out of place.

The girl looked over her shoulder down the hall, hesitantly taking her eyes off Kira. She easily switched to English and called out, “Maman! Someone is here for you.” 

She heard the sound of heels clacking hard against the wood floor, they were coming closer and quicker. It was then she heard Delphine’s voice, and almost immediately the anxiety began to shed from her chest.

“Ellie, what did I say about answering the door?” She said slackly, playfully pulling the girl’s hat around so the brim was facing to the front. It took Delphine a half a second to register who was standing in front of her. Her face went pale, as if she were seeing a ghost. Immediately Kira felt the anxiety shift from herself to Delphine.

Deep down Delphine had waited for this day to come, expected it even. What she didn’t expect was that person to be Kira Manning.

Nineteen  years ago Sarah begged Delphine to disappear with Cosima, to protect her, it was their best chance. Cosima was dying and DYAD was hot on their heels, they were losing, and together the sisters were an easier target. Delphine was surprised at the sudden request. Reluctantly, Cosima agreed and the next morning with a tearful, "see you soon," they were gone.

“Maman? Maman?” Ellie asked, placing her hand on her mother’s shoulder, “Are you okay?”

Delphine suddenly snapped out of her shock. She smiled and shook her head back and forth, “I’m fine, I’m sorry... I, I spaced out.” She laughed at her own use of the American idiom in hopes to diffuse her own nervousness.

She smiled at Kira and then directed her attention back to Ellie. “Can you check on your dinner? It’s in the oven.”

Ellie glared at Kira, before turning around and putting her headphones back in, her army boots clunking down the hallway.

“Kira…” Delphine swallowed hard, “Come in, please.” She held the door as Kira slipped past her into the large foyer. The spiral staircase to her right was dramatic, the wood floors still echoed with Ellie’s heavy gait. Kira took in the home and noted a few pictures of Delphine and Ellie, the young girl, on the console table sprinkled with mail, a wallet and a pair of keys.

Before Delphine pulled the door closed her eyes swept the parameter of the yard, suddenly becoming instinctively protective.

“Sorry for just popping up like this…” Kira offered a hesitant smile.

“Non, It’s wonderful to see you,” Delphine said, but the quiver in her voice was apparent, “Can I offer you a drink? Water? Tea?”

“Water would be great, thank you” she followed Delphine down the hall. The kitchen was enormous, a large island sat in the middle of the area with industrial stools along each side. The aroma of the vegetable pot pie cooking in the oven wafted through the air as Ellie bounced down from her tippy toes onto her heels and closed the oven door with a startling thud. Delphine glared at her knowing it was anything but accidental. 

“I think it’s ready,” Ellie said pulling her right earbud from her ear.

“Merci, I’ll bring it up to you,” Delphine said over her shoulder as she pulled a glass from the cabinet. A subtle hint that she should head up to her room, but the uneasiness did not sit well with Ellie. Her Maman would never suggest dinner in her room.

"Tu es bizarre," Ellie confronted, “qui est-elle?”

Delphine pursed her lips and leaned in with a muted austerity, she whispered, “Please, go back to your room, she’s just an old friend." Ellie’s eyes tested her, to which Delphine leaned in closer and pressed the off button on the oven, eliciting a _beep_ before adding, “Now...”

“Elle semble jeune pour être une vieille amie,” Ellie challenged.

“Please, Ellie,” Delphine begged with a huff, her composure waning.

Ellie sensed she was pushing her limits, but had to have the last word. As she made for the hallway she stared at Kira and then to Delphine, “Je ne te crois pas.”

For weeks Delphine’s patience with Ellie had been wearing thin. She challenged Delphine’s authority at every opportunity, but at this moment she didn’t have the resilience to handle the bickering. The stress of being a single parent for months had worn her down.

“I’m sorry about her,” Delphine smiled apologetically and slid the glass of water across the marble slate.

“No worries, I understand,” Kira chuckled dismissively, before adding "You have a daughter," it was more of a statement than a question,"I think the only two french words I know are _yes_ and _mom_." They both laughed and Delphine shook her head proudly as she opened her eyes wide.

"Oui, I do, and she is a handful if you hadn't noticed. She's sixteen and defiant."

Kira laughed and nodded in agreement. The mood lightened, the tension beginning to dissipate.

"It's been a long time. You’re all grown up,” Delphine reminisced. 

"It has," Kira replied matter-of-fact. She cleared her throat, her fingers stretched out and realigned the placemat on the table. "But, I wish I was here for a good reason," she said as she looked up at Delphine and folded her hands on the table in front of her. Her smile faded slowly before cutting to the chase, "Is Cosima... _here_?”

There was depth in the word, _here_. A sting radiated across her chest, the implication not lost on Delphine. The mention of _Cosima_ suddenly woke her from the shock she was in from the moment she saw Kira standing at her front door.

As quickly as she took the seat across from Kira, she stood and fumbled for the phone that sat on the counter behind them. It was plugged in and charging. She looked at the time and pulled the cord from the device. Kira could see the uneasiness billowing through her, a trepidation she couldn’t quite place.

“Bien sûr,” she shook her head and her face flushed, “I’m sorry, of course, Cosima.” She let out a puff of air, mocking herself for the absurdity of not making the call sooner.

“She should be off work by now,” she nodded down to the phone that sat flat against the palm of her left hand.

Her slender thumb hovered for a moment over the button before making the call. She lifted the phone to her left ear and quickly shuffled it to her right hand and stepped into the hallway. It was in the swift motion that Kira saw it. Delphine's ring finger on her left hand, though bare, was noticeably paler above the second knuckle from an adornment that occupied it not too long ago.

_Had she been wearing a ring when she arrived?_

It felt like all at once the clues and realization began to flood her senses. The gray men’s blazer resting on the back of the dining room chair, the dark blue tie haphazardly resting over the top of it, the second set of keys on the console table she saw earlier. Her thoughts rattled with the heaviness of the situation, she suddenly felt like an intruder in a stranger’s life. 

“Hi… it’s me,” Delphine spoke huskily. Kira paused her study of the situation and listened to the one-sided conversation unfolding in the hall.

“Can you come by the house now? Kira is standing in the kitchen.”

Maybe it was the adrenaline that heightened her hearing, but she could have sworn she heard, “Holy fuck…” come from the receiving end before Delphine continued with a few short answers that held little indication of what they were speaking about.

 “Okay... right, I know…” Delphine looked to the ceiling and let out a strained breath of air.

“Cosima…” Delphine voice was lower and taut, “I know... okay, bye."

 Kira immediately averted her attention to avoid being caught eavesdropping. In a haste, she quickly focused back on the blazer, but realized her mistake when she looked back to Delphine and their eyes met immediately. Delphine glanced in the direction Kira’s eyes had just left and smiled timidly.

 "I'm sorry, I didn't realize...," Kira stammered, "I can meet Cosima somewhere else."

"Non, don't be silly. She's on her way, she should be here shortly, she’s only a block over." Delphine reached for the oven mitt on the counter and opened the door.

"I don't want to intru-," Kira began, but Delphine cut her off immediately and looked over her shoulder.

"You are hardly intruding Kira. I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised to see you, but you are always welcome. Cosima will be so happy to see you." 

She pulled the tray from the oven and slid it against the gas stove top.

"We were always optimistic... we had hope that if anything had happened you would have contacted us," Kira said.

Delphine didn’t turn around as she grabbed a plate from the top shelf, but she smiled reminiscing about the first time they learned the gene therapy was working.

"It was a long road, but she’s healthy, she’s well,” Delphine said as she reached down to slide the tray back into the oven drawer. 

“Would you like more water?” Delphine asked as she stood up, her necklace falling from its hiding place inside her shirt.

“No, I’m good, thank you” Kira replied, but noticed the simple gold ring hanging on the thin gold chain. Nonchalantly, Delphine tucked it back into her shirt and continued preparing Ellie’s dinner.

Just then the front door opened and closed softly. Delphine raised her head and peered down the hall as she pulled the silverware from the drawer and placed it next to the plate.

“We’re in the kitchen,” her voice was weak, but loud enough to reach the brunette.

The familiar jingle of her bracelets marked her impending presence. She reached the entryway and stood with a smirk on her face. Kira and Cosima stared at one another and let out a relieving laugh as they embraced.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Kira said.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Cosima replied.

Kira was slightly slouched, the height difference comical. The last time she saw Kira she was reading her fictional stories about puppies and explorers. Cosima’s chin rested over the top of her shoulder. Delphine squared her body toward them and leaned her hip against the counter, crossing her arms over her chest and grasping her shoulders. Cosima opened her eyes to Delphine’s direct gaze. Unnoticeable to Kira, her ecstatic smile faltered to one of worry as they locked eyes.

“What is _she_ doing here?” Ellie interrupted as she looked from Delphine to Cosima.

Delphine grabbed the plate and pushed off the counter with her hip and walked towards her, “Ellie… viens.” She turned her delicately by the shoulders and locked her arm across her back in a hug.

“I don’t want _mom_ here,” Ellie looked up searching Delphine’s eyes, a compassionate change from her earlier demeanor. 

“It’s okay,” Delphine whispered with a somewhat forced smile. She rested her cheek against the side of her daughter’s head and squeezed her shoulder in reassurance as they walked down the hall into the living room.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to Chapter Two! Just as a note, this story will be non-linear. This and some subsequent chapters will give you a glimpse into the past, and hopefully answer questions you may have. Thanks again for reading.

_For as long as Delphine could remember, she craved fulfillment. She took aim at what she wanted and she captured it. She personified ambition. It was what drove her across an ocean as a young scientist, led her to power a multi-national corporation, shield an unintended, yet serendipitous love, and ultimately defeat science against improbable odds. She embodied fearlessness._

_Alas, it was that same ambition that often blinded her perception._

_It had been a year since Delphine took the position as Director of Sciences at L'École Normale Supérieure. An aspiration she had prudently tucked away for over a decade in favor of modest research. She was uncertain when the opportunity had been offered, she even discerned why it was absurd. Cosima could have easily underpinned her logic and moved on as they were, but she could see the prospect had sparked a thirst, a longing that had been sacrificed for her. Despite her secrete apprehension she encouraged Delphine, “I want you to take it.”_

_That year had been implacable. They were so cautious to look for signs of an intrusion into their life, that under it all they missed the slow unraveling of their relationship. Delphine’s work had consumed her, long hours followed by long trips across the sea were incessant._

_“After this study is done, I’m all yours.” An assurance Cosima heard too many times to count. Completed studies turned into new studies, which turned into additional, demanding responsibilities and endless days._

_Grueling weeks turned into months that turned to a year. Every time one last research project ended, a new one began. Delphine convinced herself she'd be better, she'd make more time for them - it was only temporary._

_Delphine came home late. It was her routine. She'd lock the door quietly behind her and walk softly to the foyer closet and disperse her coat and bag. She'd carry her heels up the stairs, check on her sleeping daughter, shower, and the slide in behind Cosima. She was usually gone before Cosima woke up. Some mornings Cosima wasn't even sure she ever came home._

_On rare mornings when Cosima would wake to Delphine’s warmth still nestled in beside her, she’d draw their bodies close after months of separation. Though, by the time Cosima inched her fingertips below her diaphragm, Delphine would twist away as she lifted the desperate hand to her lips, placating her with any excuse she could find, “I’m already late” or “Ellie’s probably awake,” always promising later, yet never fulfilling._

_Cosima could feel the pang in her chest, a threatening indignation forming. Was this the beginning of falling out of love?_

 

* * *

****

_Finally, Delphine returned home from being out of the country on several meetings that week._

_“Can we talk?” Cosima peeked her head in the laundry room. Delphine was half in the dryer pulling out a stray sock when she was startled by Cosima and bumped her head on the door._

_“Merde...can it wait?” Delphine hissed. Her eyes squeezed shut as she ran her fingertips through her ashy, blonde curls coaxing the sting away._

_“Oh, yeah sure, why not. Let me know when you can pencil me in...” Cosima scoffed at the sudden outburst._

_“I’m exhausted, Cosima, I don't have it in me to fight with you. What is it?” Delphine asked._

_Cosima pulled her arm from behind the door, a large envelope in hand, “I need to talk to you about that job offer.”_

_“What job offer?” Delphine asked. She blinked rapidly, her forehead wrinkled. She combed through her memory, but couldn't remember Cosima mentioning any desire for a career change._

_“The one I applied for, like, on a whim a few weeks ago? I told you about it.” Cosima sneered and mumbled, “Do you listen to anything I say anymore?”_

_“I would not forget a discussion about a potential job.” Delphine looked at her waiting for her to continue, and finished pairing the busy, multi-colored socks together and placed them in the basket. "Okay, I'm listening..."_

_"It‘s a position that never gets vacated, like, amazing. The professor is taking a sabbatical for the semester. They‘re looking for someone to oversee the Biological Sciences research department... at the University of Sydney."_

_Delphine let out a small laugh, "Australia? Cosima, be realistic. I can not just up and leave work - what about Ellie? Her life is here, it's all she knows."_

_Words escaped Cosima and their eyes locked in silent battle. Delphine could see Cosima buckle into herself, drop her head to the side, and let out a sigh as she diverted her eyes. Delphine dipped her head to look Cosima in the eyes, as it all unexpectedly hit her._  

_“Are you asking me to go or are you telling me you’re going?" Delphine stopped folding and hung her wrists over the edge of the basket._  

_“I already accepted the position.” Cosima said with confidence. She had already made her decision and she wasn’t going to back down._

_“You’re telling me.” Delphine dropped the socks that had been caught in her fists. She turned her back to the dryer and rested the small of her back against the solid metal, combing her fingers through her hair at the edge of her temples._

_“I guess so. I just thought it would be nice to get away. We’re… stuck.” Cosima watched Delphine's hands strain against the curls as her hair tugged at her hairline._

_“You have to go halfway around the world to get unstuck? We have a daughter, Cosima.” Delphine wrinkled her forehead and searched Cosima's face._

_“I’m aware. I’ve known her since she was, like, a half-cell. And I wasn’t looking for something so far away. This job just came out of nowhere and I can’t pass it up.”_  

_“So, you’ve made a major decision for the both of us…” Delphine said defeated, dropping her hands to her sides. She felt her ring gently slide down and tap against her knuckle. It had never fit perfectly, but Delphine appreciated it that way. It had always reminded her of the promise they made each other, but at that moment she couldn’t remember the last time she thought about it._

_“Delphine, I don’t see another option. I’m -_ we _\- are unhappy. You’re never home, and when you are, we’re fighting. We’re tense. I mean, do you have a better idea? I’d love to hear it.”_  

_“I don’t want you to leave. I just don’t know what to say to make you stay.”_

_“So, if I stay, what’s going to change? We can’t keep doing this. The way we’re going… it’s a dead end.”_

_“It’s just a bump. What would we even tell Ellie?”_

_“This is the biggest bump ever. Like, a years-long bump. And Ellie - she’ll adjust. I’ll skype with her when I’m gone. I’ll stay present in her life. I’m not abandoning her. I’m not abandoning you either. I just think we need, I don’t know. A break?”_

_“Wh - a break? What does this break... entail?”_

_“Like a break break. Like, you’re free to...connect with someone else. Or just spend more time at work, guilt-free. And with me gone, Ellie’s going to need you. I’m the one who is here for her in the mornings and after school. She needs you around more.”_

_“Cosima… I won’t argue that I should be around for Ellie more, but… connect with someone else? I love you - you know that, right?”_

_“It’s not about love. I know you love me. It just doesn’t feel like you’re_ in love _with me anymore. You don’t make time for me, we don’t - you don’t touch me.”_

_“I’m exhausted when I get home, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, that I don’t want to be close. Are you trying to say you’re not in love with me?”_

_“I still love you, yeah. But it’s not about that, Delphine. This is the most we’ve talked in weeks. It took me telling you I’m moving halfway around the planet to get twenty minutes of my partner’s attention. That sucks. It just really sucks to always play second fiddle to an overzealous university.”_  

_“If this is what you want…” Delphine’s voice wavered. She hesitated before continuing, her tongue caught in the roof of her mouth, “When do you leave?”_

_“As soon as July 1st”_

_“What's that, tomorrow?”_

_“The day after..."_

 

* * *

_The evening of Cosima’s flight, Delphine came home to find a red suitcase standing ready at the front door. She knew today was the day, but regardless of the expectation the realization crushed her._

_Her heart crept to her fingertips as she pulled the door closed. Her routine abandoned, she became tranced in the sudden ethereal sound humming from the kitchen, the sound Cosima's finger made as it encircled the rim of her wine glass. By the sound of the pitch, Delphine could tell she was nearly finished._

_Her feet carried her to the kitchen entry._

_Her raincoat hung from her shoulder haphazard, the strap of her bag pulling it down gently._

_Delphine stood in the doorway letting her mind play catch up. How had they reached this point? The inevitable crash they had been watching in slow motion all along was finally exploding in her face._  

_Cosima’s eyes followed her fingertip around the brim as it came to a gradual stop. She tucked her finger back into her fist and rested it on the table before her reddened eyes met Delphine's._

_Delphine sucked in a guttural breath. The salt from her tears flowed in between her lips as she looked for words convincing enough to tell Cosima to stay, the words that would undo a year of broken promises, and two forgotten anniversaries. She puckered her lips to speak, but Cosima's eyes begged her not to make this any harder._  

_The silence was interrupted by the cab pulling in the driveway._

_"You don't want me to take you?"_

_Cosima slid off the stool, turning her back to place the glass in the sink and rinsed it._

_"I'll get that," Delphine quickly offered._  

_Delphine watched Cosima dry her hands slowly, her ring still sat snug, offering a sense of hope in the moment of utter despair._  

_Cosima walked toward her before stopping mere inches from her. Delphine stared down momentarily before lifting a hand to cover her face, she cried, “What have I done?”_

_“Hey…” Cosima whispered as she tugged her hand down and pulled it around her back._

_Delphine hugged her tighter than she had that entire year. "Je t'aime."_  

_“I know, I know, me too,” Cosima pushed her shoulders gently as she pulled away, “I’ll let you know when I get there, okay?”_

_She lifted Delphine’s hand to her lips, and like that, she was gone._


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a tiny update, forgive me for the briefness. As a caveat, Delphine and Ellie do speak French between each other. In an effort to avoid the constant need for you to translate their conversations, I went ahead and interspersed their dialogue with English and French. Thanks again for reading!

_Two months had gone by quickly, and as Cosima predicted, Ellie was adjusting. They skyped every day - 6 _pm Ellie's time, 2_ am Cosima’s time. They mostly worked on homework, or talked about whatever was on Ellie’s mind - and it was a lot. Ellie was an exact match of Delphine and Cosima. Nature vs. nurture, of course._

_"An 18? That’s... amazing Ellie. I'm not surprised though," Cosima gloated._

_"Thanks mom, I was nervous about this one," Ellie smiled, beside herself with excitement._

_"You need to trust yourself more, what's going on up here," Cosima tapped her two fingers to her head, "is pretty brilliant. Your Maman is basically a genius." Cosima smiled at her grinning, Ellie returned that same toothy grin._

_"Oh, Maman had the fence fixed. Good as new."_

_"You still haven't told her I let you drive the car, right?"_

_"Are you kidding? And have to work my summer interning in the library_ again _? Non, merci!" Ellie rolled her eyes._

_"So, is it about time for dinner?" Cosima asked stretching her arms above her head and leaning back in her chair with a yawn._

_"I think so. I really miss you," Ellie smiled weakly. "You're gonna come home soon right?"_

_"Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it!" Cosima tried to diffuse Ellie's tension._

_"But, home? With me and Maman?" Ellie asked dodging Cosima's attempt._

_"Ellie..." Cosima tilted her head to the side. Ellie had asked the same question in so many different words every time they spoke, and her answer was always the same: it's complicated. "I promise you're my number one, okay?"_

_"What about Maman?" Ellie pressed on, she just couldn't accept it._

_Cosima took a deep breath and released it. It hurts equally as bad to be fallen out of love with, as it does to be the one who falls out of love._

_"I wish I had an answer for you," her voice was gruff, "sometimes when you love someone—"_

_"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Spare me..." Ellie's entire demeanor became rigid, "I'll just talk to you tomorrow."_

_"Hey..." Cosima hushed her voice, she held her hand up and shook her fist. "Come on..." she sing songed with a smirk until Ellie did the same._

_"Roche-papier-ciseaux..." Ellie counted._

_Cosima throws a paper, Ellie a scissor._

_"Damn!" Cosima smiled._

_"10 bucks!" Ellie laughed and excitedly threw her hands in the air._

_"Tell Maman to spot me..." She winked, "Goodnight baby."_

_“Nuit."_

 

* * *

 

_Cosima did come home and after a surprisingly understanding conversation with Delphine, she decided moving out would be the next step for them. The transition, however, was not easy for Ellie. When Cosima explained she was asked to stay in Australia through the summer school session, Ellie felt like her best friend had lied to her. Cosima was the one person she always knew she could count on, and she’d let her down._

_That first month was hell for Delphine as Ellie’s attitude slowly spiraled out of control. The worst was when she received a call from the school that she was caught smoking in the girls bathroom. She didn’t even like cigarettes, she just knew it would piss her Maman off. That was the same day Delphine learned Ellie changed her baccalauréat général séries from sciences to literature, out of spite._

_It was difficult for Ellie to really understand what was happening between her parents, the two women she idolized. She was mad at them both, but even more so with Delphine for not fighting for Cosima back. Delphine had made it a point to stay neutral in front of Ellie, she didn't speak out of turn against Cosima, nor did she show much of her heartbreak._

_The tipping point happened one evening while Ellie was fighting over curfew, and she pulled the one card she knew would hurt her Maman most: Cosima._

_"Ten or don't go out!" Delphine yelled back fed up. "That's it, do you understand?"_

_"I hate you! You’re so controlling, this is probably exactly the reason why mom left us!" she spat, her French words melting together._

_Delphine just stared at her, at a loss. It wasn't until that moment Ellie realized how much her Maman was hurting. It wasn't until the tears billowed up in her eyes and broke across her lower lashes._

_"Maman..." Ellie reached out for her, but Delphine was already walking toward the bathroom. "Maman.. désolée," Ellie whispered as the door shut._

_Ellie didn't go out. She sat outside the bathroom door and listened to Delphine cry. She would whisper things in French that were hard to hear in between the gasps of air. When Delphine finally emerged from the bathroom, Ellie grabbed hold of her tight._

_"Je t'aime, Maman," she whispered. She was much shorter than Delphine, so her head nestled against her chest. "Je suis désolée."_

_"You're wrong, you know..." Delphine said, her voice faint as she pulled Ellie closer._

_"Quoi?" Ellie looked up her hazel eyes blurred from her own tears._

_Delphine looked down at her, "Your mom didn't leave us, she didn't leave you. Elle t'aime beaucoup."_


	4. Chapter Four

Delphine pulled Ellie’s door gently leaving it cracked slightly, a half eaten plate of pot pie in her hand. She retreated back to the kitchen, but stalled at the top of the stairs as she caught a glimpse of Cosima’s back. An uncomfortable pressure rested somewhere between her heart and throat as she recalled the memory of the last time she saw the brunette in that same spot. Delphine’s hand became noticeably clammy against the railing as it guided her way back down.  
  
Her heels had been replaced by a softer sole, her steps invisible as she neared the muffled conversation in the kitchen. It was her name rolling off Cosima’s tongue that stalled her steps again at the bottom of the staircase.   
  
“…but, whatev, you know, Delphine and I are in a better place I guess.” On the other side of the wall, Delphine could only predict the shrug that punctuated her sentence. She smiled to herself. _They were in a better place_. But, it was like Cosima to mingle bitter with her sweet as she abruptly added, “but let’s be real, happy endings are bullshit.”   
  
Delphine winced at the brutal dig that tore through and through.  
  
Delphine closed her eyes as Cosima hummed a bitter laugh. She squeezed the porcelain plate that sat tight in her palms, and let out a silent breath to subsist the terrible weight growing in her chest that was bound to either choke her or swallow her heart. She held her breath and downplayed the comment as she walked through the entryway.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she smiled weakly at Kira.

Delphine could see Cosima’s back stiffen slightly at the sound of her voice. Cosima quickly lifted her elbows from the slate, she squeezed the edge of the island with both hands and leaned back. She watched Delphine come into her peripheral, but Delphine’s eyes stayed on the sink as she placed the plate down gently.   
  
“I’ll go talk to her after,” Cosima offered. Her tone changed, her voice was soft and comforting. It usually was when it came to Ellie.   
  
“She’s fine,” Delphine quickly dismissed with a quick wave of her hand, she still stung from Cosima’s earlier comment.  
  
Cosima's eyes followed Delphine as she took the seat across from her. Delphine unbuttoned her blazer and let out an exasperated breath before finally looking at the two women, Kira seated to her right.   
  
Kira had made no move to speak. Perhaps she could feel the unease between the two women. She wasn't sure if it was their relationship status or something else. Maybe both. It was Delphine that broke the stalemate.  
  
“What has happened?” Delphine asked matter-of-factly. Cosima immediately shifted her attention back to Kira.   
  
“Yeah, like, what’s going on, Kira?” Cosima cursorily added and leaned in.  
  
Kira’s mouth went dry. She didn’t sugarcoat it, there was no time. “We aren’t sure where Sarah is, and while we're trying to be optimistic…” She tilted her head and took in a jagged breath, wordlessly implying what Cosima was already thinking.

Cosima lifted her hand with a slight trepidation, “You think DYAD’s back? Topside?"  
  
Kira teetered her head back and forth as she swallowed a gulp of water.  
  
“Maybe,” Kira sat up straight and unloaded, "Mrs. S passed– "  
  
Delphine and Cosima both sighed in sync over each other, “I’m so sorry,” Cosima said.   
  
“Well, my mom is the strongest woman I know, but when S passed– " Kira bit her top lip with her bottom, she shook her head, her lips curled up in disbelief, "she was beside herself to say the least, and when she came back from Toronto after everything was put in order, it was obvious she was – _on something_."  
  
“On something? Like what? Drugs?” Cosima pinched her eyebrows.  
  
"Prescription, mostly. One minute she was coping, the next minute she was hallucinating. She'd even say she saw you in the grocery store." Kira shook her head again, as if she were telling a fib versus actual events of her life. "So... when she said she saw Rachel on the street, what would you believe? She was a mess, my dad started looking into inpatient treatment centers.”  
  
Delphine swallowed a breath and parted her lips at the mention of Rachel. She leaned her elbow on the island and pressed her weight backwards. Her eyes shot to Cosima briefly and back to Kira.   
  
"Did she go?” Cosima asked, sensing Delphine’s unease without having to look at her.  
  
"No, a few day later, she was gone,” Kira said flatly before continuing, "We'd figured she went back to Toronto - _to Uncle Felix_ \- after she put the pieces together about rehab. He said he hadn’t seen her, but my dad insisted we go anyway. That’s where I came from.”  
  
Cosima’s fingers massaged her brow bone, her bare ring finger brushed up the bridge of her nose. Her glasses were snug and in place, but she still pushed on them before before hastily asking, “So let me get this straight, after all these years you think she decided _now_ was the time for a family reunion to _what_? Avoid rehab for popping pills?  
  
Delphine reached her hand out across the island to stop Cosima, “Where do DYAD and Topside come in?” Delphine asked cutting to the chase.  
  
“Of course, I’m not saying I think she came all the way _here_ to run away,” Kira says to Cosima plainly as she sets her bag on the island and began to riffle through it. She continued, ”As far as DYAD and Topside are concerned—that’s actually why I’m here.” She pulled a stack of files from her bag and discarded them to the side, they slapped against the slate surface, and she dipped her head back into the wide bag.  
  
Cosima and Delphine exchanged an unsettling look.   
  
"A few days ago, before we left for Toronto, I found…” she pulled out a crisp, white envelope, “… _this_ in the mailbox. Someone had placed it in there, it wasn’t mailed. The envelope was blank.” She handed Cosima the envelope. “There’s a business card in it.”

Cosima turned the envelope over gently as if she were unwrapping a fragile map to a hidden treasure. She pulled the business card from the crisp, white sleeve and flipped it a few times with her right hand, discarding the envelope in front of her with her left.  
  
“Nortem?” she read out loud.  
  
Delphine leaned in closer, edging her elbows to the center of the island. She studied the card closely, the thin red line bleeding over the edges of the heavy white card stock, paling in comparison to the thick red letters spelling out _Nortem_.   
  
“May I?” Delphine asked inquisitively, her demeanor nonchalant. Cosima held the rectangular card between the tips of her index and middle finger. Delphine tried to pluck the card from Cosima’s fingers, but Cosima teased and held it tighter before finally releasing it. They subtly smirked at each other, easing the weight of the situation.

“Have you heard of them?” Cosima asked Delphine.

Delphine shook her head _'no'_ as she rotated the card a few times, “No contact? Why leave a card?”  
  
“That’s all there was,” Kira responded, shrugging her shoulder.

“Obviously it’s because they want us to go fishing. This is...” Cosima began but faltered when Delphine and Kira were distracted, both of their eyes focused behind her. Cosima turned to see a tall gentleman approaching the entryway. His attention was on the phone he held in his hand.

“Delly? It’s good as new, all fixed," his smooth, French accent announced excitedly. He looked up to see three faces staring at him dumbfoundedly, “Oh.. I didn’t realize you had company. I’m sorry,” he apologized with a smile.   
  
Delphine casually slid the card into her blazer pocket and stood up from the stool quickly. “Adrien, this is _my_ … this is Cosima.” They were both too preoccupied to notice her anxious flub.

Cosima scrutinized him head to toe. He was noticeably taller than Delphine—his fancy shoes, suit pants, expensive watch. The sleeves of his white collared shirt rolled up neatly, the button undone where his tie would have sat tight at his neckline.

Adrien’s chestnut eyebrows raised briefly before his face softened into a genuine smile. He stepped forward and reached out his hand. “Cosima, I’ve heard so much about you. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”  
  
Cosima titled her head back and gaped, her eyes narrowed. She studied the pretentious side part splitting his hair, faded salt and pepper buzz down one side, the rest of the thick chestnut waves brushed neatly across the other. His facial hair scruffy, but clean cut.

She dubiously reached out and firmly shook his hand. His wide palm and brawny fingers swallowed up her much smaller, delicate hand. She held a little longer than necessary and shot a knowing smirk to the blonde.

Delphine dodged Cosima, her eyes bouncing around the room, looking at everything and everyone except the surprised, yet amused, brunette. Cosima looked from Adrien to Delphine and back, her jaw loosened with a cunning laugh, “Can’t say I’ve heard a _thing_ about you…” Cosima paused and cocked her head to the side. She looked back at Delphine, widened her eyes and added, “ _…dude._ ” Her lips pulled tight as she forced a smile back at him.


	5. Chapter Five

_The rising afternoon sun poured through the large window and past the white curtains. Ellie’s petite feet twitched against her pillow. One foot bare, one foot fully covered with a clean white sock that hugged her ankle. From her pale calves up she was swallowed by pristine white sheets and a chevron pattern quilt. Cosima had coined her habit “tornado sleeping."_

_For a third time that morning, the piercing repetition of the Skype call notification pulled her slowly from semi-consciousness. Her vision slowly adjusted under the covers to the bright light spilling through the thin fabric. The remnants of a headache awoke with her._   
  
_“Fuck,” she murmured to herself, poking her head out from under the blankets. The sudden fragrance of her Maman's perfume invaded her senses._

_“Excuse moi?”_

_Ellie was met face to face with Delphine, bent over looking at her upside down. She closed her eyes and steadied a gasp. "Désolée”._   
  
_Delphine hummed her disdain at the colorful curse word. Her wide eyes relaxed, her face softened with a content smile as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Bonne fête,” she said, and ran her delicate fingers through Ellie’s newly bleach blonde hair, clearing it from her face. “I still can’t believe you did this.”_   
  
_"It’s just hair,” Ellie said with a sleepy huff, twisting her head away from Delphine's mothering._   
  
_“Your blood sugar was alarmingly low yesterday.” Delphine tenderly pulled her daughter’s slender wrist from beneath the covers. She pressed the button a few times on the watch-like device and studied it._

_“Do you still have a headache?” Delphine asked. A headache that required Delphine leaving work early to pick her up from school the day before._   
  
_“Non.”_   
  
_“Are you sure?” Delphine arched her eyebrow looking at the number again. Ellie huffed knowing Delphine knew the truth._   
  
_“Maman… stop.” Ellie closed her eyes and covered her eyelids with her forearm._   
  
_“I just thought you could have some birthday cake early,” Delphine winked with a smile as she pulled her arm down, the tiny wrist between her fingers._

_Ellie cracked an eye open and gently wrinkled her forehead. She mused at the obviously overcompensated offer, “Merci... but I’m not six. Chill with the kid talk.”_

_Delphine smiled gently at the bittersweet cheekiness of the remark. She was an impressionable child, half nurtured by a free spirited, cheeky scientist._

_"Don't look at me like that." Ellie yawned._

_"How did I look at you?" Delphine cocked her head, confusion settling between her brows._

_"Like I did something that reminded you of mom. She did it the entire time when I visited."_

_"She did?" Delphine's voice pitched, but was quickly interrupted by the demanding sequence of Ellie's Skype._

_"Mon dieu," Ellie exclaimed throwing the quilt over her head and curling into her Maman._

_"Non, your mom has been calling you for the last hour." Delphine cradled the cocooned fabric spun around her daughter._

_“Please don’t make me talk to her," Ellie mumbled from beneath the white covers._

_Delphine's patience was a virtue for the wayward teenager. Her tolerance wasn't entirely of guilt, but rather understanding Ellie's behavior was simply self-preservation._

_Delphine patted the quilt encouragingly and leaned forward, shifting the dead weight trapping her thighs. "Viens, mon petit chou.”_

_She scooped up a trail of clothes on her way back to the bedroom door, inspecting discarded black leggings and an acid-marked tank. Arms extended, she held up the tank and grimaced, rotating it a few times before balling the dirty clothes in her arms, and resting against the doorframe._

_"Ellie, it's your birthday. You may not care, but it's very important to us. I’d like for you to speak with her—she deserves your respect. Also, I need to talk to mom too. If you want to attend the winter program, she needs to approve as well."_

_Ellie huffed throwing the covers off herself. "Can I at least get dressed first?"_   
  
_"Oui, but hurry s’il te plait." Delphine said, pulling the door closed slightly behind her._

_Ellie stared at the enormous, spiral galaxy covering her ceiling, NGC 1672. The tiny LED lights twinkled, simulating the refracturing that the Earth’s atmosphere produces when looking at stars in the night sky. When she was younger, Ellie spent hours enthralled by the orbit, the asterism of Dorado and the believed supermassive black hole formed at the center of it all. A trip to the planetarium at the age of eight had her rattling about the distant galaxy for weeks. Cosima and Delphine reveled in her vivid fascination about polarizing emissions, ionized nuclei and electromagnetic spectra._

_These days she felt like her family was a constellation of three experiencing a gravitational collapse._

_Rubbing her face, she kicked the blankets off and crawled from the bed. She aimlessly grabbed a shirt and skirt from her closet, and shuffled to the bathroom._

 

_Just as she tugged the black crop top over her shoulders, the Skype began blaring again. Aztec wool clad feet dragged across the matte hardwood._

_"I know!" Ellie yelled toward the hallway, halting any impending utterance from Delphine. She swiveled the wooden desk chair around and took a seat, reluctantly accepting the call._

_“Happy Birth— holy shit!” Cosima smiled wide, “Your hair… it’s awesome! Maman said you dyed it, but what did you do? Bleach it?” Cosima wrapped a scarf around her neck, her eyes fixed to the screen in awe._

_“Are you wearing lipstick?” Ellie countered dismissively._

_"Yes. I'm going out with a few co-workers.” Cosima said gingerly, “—but don’t worry, I'll be back in time for cake. You’re definitely Skyping me in for that.” Cosima leaned back with a grin, excitedly expanding her hands.”So... How's it feel to be 16? We're gonna have to get you a jazzy scooter soon!"_

_“The same as yesterday.” Ellie was stone-faced._

_Cosima’s smile went slack, a sigh reverberating in Ellie’s speakers. Their Skype calls carried on this way for several weeks—_ if _Ellie answered at all._

_“Listen El. I really want you to stay with me for your winter break. You loved it here when you visited in August, and now it’s the Summer. They finished the astronomy wing at the college, I discovered a ton of new cafés—”_

_“—I’m sure you have.” Ellie scoffed._

_“Well, it’s obviously your decision, but—”_

_“No offense, but I'd really rather do the winter program.” Ellie paused and looked directly into the camera. “And I really don’t want Maman be alone for long.” She was firm. The grinding of her teeth didn’t go unnoticed, a redness stinging her eyes._

_“Ellie…” Cosima comforted. A knot of regret formed in her throat as the corners of her daughter's lips twitched downward. "Hey—"_

_“Maman wants to talk to you about it.” Ellie forced the chair back, fingers white against the edge of the desk. Her sudden exit was followed by a muffled exchange occurring in the hall._

_“Actually I need to go, but tell her we can talk tonight, okay?” Cosima stammered, searching the screen for her daughter._

_“Non, wait, really quick,” Delphine called out, entering the room urgently. Smoothing the silk pattern blouse and tossing her curls._

_Cosima shifted uncomfortably. Delphine crossed an arm over her chest and adjusted the screen of the laptop. Cosima side-eyed the camera’s trail from the maroon clad hips to a timid smile._

_"Hi," Delphine swallowed, any ounce of confidence drained from her. Cosima looked beautiful — date night beautiful. Her memory pirated her senses, breathing in the phantom scent of Cosima's perfume._

_"Hey," Cosima said softly, tinkering with the deep purple silk scarf. After a pause Cosima continued, hands grasping for words, "I know, I totally owe you an answer about her winter trip. I'm just on the fence."_

_Delphine watched her hands intently, feeling a new weight compressing her chest. Anxiety spidered through her ribs, reaching up into her throat._

_The bareness of her ring finger was agonizing._

_"She'll be okay. It's only a few days. This is the same program she did two years ago," Delphine rationalized, loosely intertwining her fingers, thumb spinning the thin ring still gracing her left hand._

_"Yeah, but she's sixteen now... and it's co-ed." Cosima settled her elbows down on the desk, her fingertips tapped her cheeks just below her frames._

_Delphine smiled and closed her eyes, nodding, bouncing the ash blonde curls."I share your concern and I've spoken with her."_

_"Yeah? What did she say?" The brunette dropped her arms down, subtly smirking at the thought of Delphine giving the talk._

_“She didn’t say much, she went...” Delphine shook her body sporadically, shaking her head and hands while sticking her tongue out in disgust, mimicking Ellie's reaction when the subject was approached._

_Cosima and Delphine laughed in unison, before Delphine softly dropped the corners of her mouth and licked her lips, "But you trust her. Why the hesitation?"_

_Cosima stared away contemplating, before absentminded nudging her glasses up the bridge of her nose and drawing her eyes back to Delphine. "I guess I was just hoping she would come stay with me for the break."_

_"I’ll talk with her,” Delphine offered. A double buzz blared behind the brunette. Cosima sheepishly peered over her own shoulder._

_"Go... have a nice date." Delphine forced a smile, suddenly standing a bit taller._

_Cosima opened her mouth, but quickly closed it when the buzzer interrupted a second time._

_"We'll see you for cake. She will call you, I promise. Ciao.” Delphine abruptly ended the call. She stood cemented in place, her heart finally catching rhythm again. She stared at the photo assigned to Cosima's Skype profile—Ellie and Cosima holding twigs with marshmallows, smiles as wide as the sparkling lake adjacent to a blurred camp fire._


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It means a lot that you come back each week to read! Thank you! Pardon for the tardiness. I opt'd to do this in one fell swoop vs. splitting into multiple chapters, so this is a jam packed chapter and required overtime from the best beta crew - tumblweed, caro and trylonandperisphere. Also, if you're on Tumblr let's be pals! You can find me over at crazylabscience.

_A plastic maroon tray glided across the rolling bars of the metal counter. The sharp tap of Delphine’s heels was muffled by the chaotic dining hall. It was early January, and the Spring semester had just begun with the largest freshman class to date. The slow-moving line inched forward before coming to a halt. Delphine arched her body to the side. She assessed the number of students standing between her and a cup of bold, hot coffee. Resting back on her heels she unclipped the badge from her waistband and tossed it onto the tray’s spirally textured surface._

_The badge read_ Dr. Delphine Allard, Dean of Immunology Research.

_Tiny goosebumps blazed a trail down her pale arms. Crossing her forearms she rubbed warm hands over her chilled skin, coveting the black blazer draped over the back of her leather office chair._

_“Bon Matin, Allard.” Smirked a young woman with curly, auburn hair. Her petite frame hugged a stack of folders against her chest as she scurried through the crowd of students. Delphine turned back with a hand clasping her shoulder. She smiled at the raspy voice she knew well. Tori was always early and always busy; It made her the perfect assistant._

_Delphine watched her pace through the crowd until the young woman freed a hand. She pointed up toward the clock above the doorway as she exited. Delphine followed the path of her wiggling, freckled fingers and fluttered her eyelids; She was due to a meeting in exactly five minutes._

_Delphine brought her attention back to the line, hurrying to fill the gap that formed. As her charcoal heel stepped forward, a coarse hand gripped her bare shoulder and forced her back. All too fast, a white plastic tea cup hit the ground, splashing scalding water inches from her feet. Silence took over the dining room._

_“Dean Allard, I am so sorry.” A disheveled young man apologized profusely. His cheeks flushed as he crouched down scattering napkins over the steaming liquid. Delphine kneeled down to help, but he frantically insisted he’d clean the mess. In a haste, he quickly threw the soaked napkins on a tray and ran off, leaving the cup forgotten on the floor. After a few beats the buzzed returned to the dining hall._

_Delphine picked the cup up and passed it over the counter to the Barista with a smile. She dusted her knee, and turned back to the gentlemen that shielders her from an unpleasant burn._

_“Merci. Bon Matin, Dr. Reese.”_

_He slid his hands into his pocket and nodded. He wore a charming smile that rarely ever left his face. “Not a good way to start a morning.”_

_“Non.” She shook her head with eyebrows raised in agreement._

_Dr. Reese was the new Director, having replaced Delphine the previous semester following her resignation. At the request of the University, Delphine assisted the process of choosing her replacement and coordinating her transition. She was a favorite—a respected figure throughout the student body. When it was announced she would be leaving her role as Director, her personal matters were respected, and her transition to Dean was relatively low-key._

_He pulled the lanyard from around his neck and twisted it around the badge. “I don’t usually see you here.”_

_“I had very little time this morning. I thought I’d save myself a couple of minutes, but... is it usually like this?”  She motioned toward the line of students._

_“It is, in fact. This semester has been the busiest.” Adrien smiled to himself and added, “—rumor has it since a certain someone became Dean."_

_She blushed modestly with a smile, “I’m not sure who that could be.”_

_“It’s not a joke.” He continued quickly, his tone convincing. He learned down at her eye level. “the students are very fond of you. The faculty is in awe of you. The board would probably prefer you over me, but nonetheless they are beyond impressed.”_

_“Merci.” She mulled over the news about the board before adding, “—and you?” Delphine caught herself,  immediately regretted the unintended suggestive tone._

_“Especially me.” His voice was fervent and sincere. Adrien looked back and forth between her hazel orbs and softened his smile. There was an unfamiliar pull drawing Delphine in. She shifted an uneven weight between her heels. Twisting her thin, black watch she diverted her eyes from his gaze and down the length of the line._

_“I’m sorry, but I should go.” She took a deep breath and smiled, “It doesn’t look like coffee will happen before my 9 o’clock.” Reaching for her badge on the tray she added, “I have a dissertation meeting with a student… which began 5 minutes ago. Enjoy the rest of your day, Dr. Reese.”_

_“You too, Delphine.”_

* * *

 

_She tapped the flat buttons on the glass surface, eliciting a low hum. Her palm pressed the door from its hushed magnetic lock, immediately transitioning the privacy glass from opaque to transparent. Holding the heavy glass door open she let the student pass from her office into the circular hall._

_The university’s humble white washed wooden doors and brass knobs, had recently been revitalized with intrusive glass walls and keyless entries—an unsettling reminder of her family's unspoken history. A threat that once harbored perilous memories and forbidding, unethical research._

_“Merci, Dr. Allard.” Pulling the strap of his satchel across his chest, he smiled with a wave of his hand. “Au revoir.”_

_Even after decades the sound of her last name, a last name her daughter has only ever known, still feels foreign._

_“Bien sûr, au revoir.” Delphine replied. A distracted smile crossed her lips as she caught a pink post-it in her peripheral. Suddenly the thrumming behind her eyes heightened. She stalled with a sigh and fluttered her eyes, before ambling back to the door and peeled the note from the door. Tori insisted on using the_ vintage _sticky notes for everything -_ pink _meant Ellie._

_“Dr. Allard?” A familiar soft voice called from behind her, Adrien. Her heart sped up without preamble, her palms heated up. She fought it, folding the neon paper in half with her red fingertips and turned on the front of her foot. A scanner droned from an open door as their eyes met, silence filling the space between them._

_Adrien held an outreached tall, lidded paper cup fitted with a brown sleeve. “I thought you could use this.”_

_“Merci.” Reaching out to the cup of coffee, Delphine felt her cheeks flush at the graze of their fingers._

_“My pleasure.” He stood hands dropping to his waist, hands slipping into his pocket._

_“I owe you one.” She nodded holding the coffee up, “See you at our 1 o’clock staff?”_

_“Actually–” He paused rubbing the hair covering his cheek, “Would you care to join me for coffee tomorrow morning? There is a little café not too far from campus.”_

_“Coffee, tomorrow?”_

_“Yes, if you aren’t busy. Consider it work. We can discuss staff follow ups or something equally boring.” His confidence radiated, a disarming aura that filled Delphine._

_"Of course she would. This one needs a change of scenery." Tori patted Delphine on the back and walked behind her desk, busying herself with a folder of papers and a stapler._

_Delphine stared at Tori astounded, a knowing grin slipping over her assistant’s lips._

_“I agree with her.” Adrien spoke up nodding his head with a genial smirk. “What do you say?”_

_“Sure, why not, but my treat, since you…” Delphine lifted the cup of coffee and tapped her finger tip against recycled sleeve._

_“Great! I’ll email you the name of the cafe.”_

_“Parfait.”_

_“Okay then!” He slid his hands from his pockets, and softly clapped his hands together. “Parfait.”_

_The moment he was far enough away Delphine turned to Tori with her eyebrows pinched and whispered, “What are you doing?”_

_“Do you need me to spell it out?” Tori stopped organizing the file, amusement on her lips. She dropped her eyes back to the folder before leaning closer to Delphine. “You know... the girls in my Bio Chem class call him Dr. Reese’s Pieces. I wouldn’t mind—”_

_Delphine lifted her hand with a set smile, “Victoria.”_

_“Alright, alright.” Tori smiled and passed the folder to Delphine, “Listen, bottom line is moping isn’t a good look for you.”_

_“I’m not moping.” Delphine furrowed her eyebrows and wrinkling her forehead. A prickle of heat spread across her cheeks._

_Tori laughed, tipped her head back and nodded, “Oh, yeah you are. You look like you belong in that Coldplay music video.”_

_Delphine’s gaze blurred for a moment as she searched for the implied meaning. “Coldplay?” She tilted her head to the side and shrugged her shoulders before moving back toward the large glass door._

_Tori sighed and mumbled to herself, “The Scientist? Coldplay?”_

_She followed closely behind Delphine into the spacious office. The view of the courtyard was covered by a dust of fresh, white flakes. Tori stood in the center of the warm office as Delphine leaned her weight on the edge of her desk. The blonde’s eyes drifted to the pink note, her fingertip flicked the edge a few times before raising her eyes to Tori._

_“Dr. Allard, I’ve interned with you for the past three semesters. You’re closed off, it’s your thing, I get it. But you’re a good person. You deserve to be happy.” Tori paused before mumbling into her shoulder, “and someone needs to get some.”_

_Delphine exhaled a sharp sigh, “Do you ever think before you speak?”_

_Tori brushed her off, the banter was a common theme between them. “It's coffee. No one said anything about giving up on_ her _. It’s just a lousy cup of coffee between two very attractive—"_

_Delphine rolled her eyes with a bemused smirk, raking her palms against her thighs and lifting from the desk. She ambled around the curve of the desk to take a seat in the leather chair._

_Tori leaned her head to the side and bit her lips together before revising, "–brilliant, co-workers."_

_“Are you finished?” Delphine asked looking up from the open folder and document she was signing._

_“Mhm.” Tori smiled when they locked eyes and took the outreached folder from Delphine. “It’s just coffee.”_

_“I know, Merci.” Delphine said with a smile that did not quite reveal her dimples. She sighed and lifted the pink note stuck to her finger. “Ellie?”_

_“She was marked absent.”_

_Delphine let out an exasperated breath, reaching across the desk for her mobile phone. “I brought her to school this morning.”_

_Tori sauntered toward the doorway, tapping the folder’s spine against her open palm. “Figures you can sequence a genome, but not the clever mind of your sixteen year old.”_

* * *

_The following morning Delphine and Adrien met at a quaint, rustic café not too far from the university. The conversation was casual and light, and his company was unexpectedly welcome. It was easy for them to fall into a weekday routine of morning espresso over topics of work._

_On the rare days Delphine was later than usual, he’d have a warm chocolate croissant waiting. Those were the occasions she could feel the tug at the armor she wore, threatening to pull away the guard of hesitation and fear of the unknown. Yet it wasn't the pastry, a guilty pleasure she had confessed to him. Instead it was the realization that Adrien never asked her why. He never pressed about personal details, but rather respected the platonic space she’d consciously enforced. So, when he finally braved the next step and asked her to join him for his famous cheese soufflé, it was unsettlingly easy to say yes._

* * *

_Ellie’s heavy boots shuffled along the outdoor walkway of Franklin, the lycée she began attending the year prior. She applied the last stroke of the deep red shade to her lips and tossed the lipstick into her bag. Grabbing the post of the towering iron gate she propelled herself around the corner. She hugged the army green jacket closed with her skinny fingers, her tips polished red by Delphine the night before. Brown eyes searched for someone other than the tall blonde that rarely missed an after school walk home — a tradition her Maman promised to keep until Cosima’s return._

_The corner of Ellie’s lips curved up when she heard the familiar raspy voice._

_“Ellie!” The wild auburn hair easily set her apart from the others on the sidewalk. Tori held up white, paper take out containers with a smile that reached her eyes._

_“Hey.” Ellie smiled, grabbed one of the containers. “Sesame tofu?”_

_“Merde, non. Steamed broccoli.”_

_Ellie gritted her teeth in a grimace that slowly faulted at the smirk on Tori’s face._

_“Bien sûr, it’s sesame tofu.” Tori teased._

_“It’s seriously my favorite.” Ellie hopped from the curb as they hurried across the marked lanes of the busy street. Snow coated the sidewalk and flurries began their gradual descent._

_“Yeah, no kidding.” Tori laughed, bumping their shoulders._

_“Is my Maman gonna be late tonight?” Ellie asked biting her cheek._

_“Hopefully, if the planets align.” Tori mumbled under her breath, hurrying across another cobblestone crosswalk to beat the blinking ‘do not walk’ sign._

_“Quoi?” Ellie’s eyes flicked toward Tori, who was sashaying slightly in front of her. Her distracted eyes swept down the length of the tweed wool coat and dark gray stockings that met matte black heels. Her lips parted, shallow breaths escaped and visibly mixed with the freezing air. She swallowed thickly as Tori tucked hair behind her ear and turned back._

_“Are you coming?” Tori asked, shaking her head._

_“Uh, désolée, ouais.” Ellie replied sheepishly, realizing she had slowed to a stand on the sidewalk. She coaxed the blush away by quickly countering with a roll of her eyes, “How’s Demon?”_

_“_ Damian _– is wonderful!” She smiled ear to ear. “I saw his band last night, so good. Oh, and he bought me these earrings.” Tori bunched her wild thick, auburn hair as Ellie side-eyed the silver and emerald posts. “Damian said shades of green compliment my hair.”_

_“Damian sounds like a toolbox.” Ellie scoffed pulling the red mailbox open and collecting the mail, before they walked toward the front door._

_“You know, one day you’re gonna fall in love and I’m gonna nag you for days, you little brat.”_

_Ellie scoffed and slid the key into the door, unlocking the deadbolt. Before she passed into the house she turned back, “By the way, the planets won’t align for like another 800 years.”_

_“Mon dieu, how do your moms deal with you?” Tori nudged Ellie forward into the house, a giggle escaping the snarky teenager. Pulling the door closed behind her, Tori added, “Just go pick out the movies.”_

* * *

_The stem of the nearly finished glass of wine rested between Delphine’s index and middle fingers. Laughter filled the space between herself and Adrien. They spent the evening chatting about many things, including his summers at his family’s vineyard, the same place the bottle of riesling they shared was crafted. He’d told her amusing stories of eating grapes and pruning vines each summer, and how boarding school was the saving grace._

_Adrien took a sip of his wine, eyes gazed pensively into the flecked hazel orbs across from him._

_“You’re mysterious,” he smiled, “I want to know who Delphine Allard is outside of the university.”_

_She hummed sipping her wine. A buzzed smile turning up beneath the rim of the glass._

_“What would you like to know?” Her eyes followed the glass as it touched down against the honey oak wood table._

_“Well, we have established that your favorite color is red, most likely animal to be a cat, your aunt also owned a vineyard in the south of France. Now that the hard questions are out of the way…” He flashed a warm smile._

_“Are you married?” Adrien dropped his eyes to her left hand._

_“Non,” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, leaning back against the chair. Sitting taller, she clasped her hands in her lap and gently twisted the ring, pulling it to the first knuckle and back. She hadn't found the courage to move it any further. “It’s more of a commitment, but we… we’ve been separated for several months now.” Her voice trailed off again._

_He nodded his head, opting not to push any further on the subject. “Children?”_

_“Oui, just one, a daughter.” A proud smile quirked her lips. “The love of my life. You?”_

_“Well!” He took a deep breathe, “Never married. No commitments, but I do have a boy; he’s fifteen.”_

_“Ah, are they all so defiant at that age?” Delphine chuckled. She somehow felt slightly closer to him at the commonality. It was a soothing weight, it was like rotating a kaleidoscope and suddenly revealing a new patterns of compassion and credence._

_“I believe it comes with the territory.” He laughed. “He actually lives with his mother in Lyon. I see him a few times a month. It’s never enough.” His voice was tinged with despondence._

_“How does he handle the distance? If you don’t mind me asking.”_

_“He’s acclimated. He knows no other arrangement. His mother and I parted before he was born.” He shared comfortably before he curiously asked, “Are you in a similar position? Does she live far?”_

_“Non, she lives with me. Though, her mother is in Australia for work. It’s temporary, but it’s been difficult for her. They are very close.”_

_“—and for you? Is it difficult?"_

_She became lost in a dead stare as she contemplated the question. Heartbreaking. She dropped her eyes to the empty wine glass and then drifted back to him._

_“I’m sorry, please don’t answer that. I shouldn't have–” His crystal green eyes were repentant._

_She smiled weakly, “It’s been an adjustment.”_

_Adrien daringly reached his hand across the space between them and covered hers. They locked eyes. His thumb grazed the top of her wrist, triggering a trail of goosebumps up her forearm. She felt her heart rate spike as he dropped his eyes to her lips and unwittingly the side of her bottom lip slipped between her teeth._

_“Would you care for another glass of wine?” Adrien lifted the half full bottle, tipping the neck in her direction._

_Delphine covered the glass’s wide mouth with her fingers and slid her hand from beneath his. “Actually, it’s probably time I go. The snow looks to be picking up.” She motioned to the window behind him as flurries rapidly fell against the glass._

_“Absolutely,” he stood up from the table. Delphine pulled the napkin from her lap and placed it on the placemat._

_They walked into the minimalist living room. Delphine collected her purse and keys from the modern charcoal sofa as Adrien retrieved her coat from the closet._

_“Are you okay to drive?” Adrien asked gallantly, holding the gray peacoat up for her._

_“Oui, I’m fine.” She whispered low, slowly turning her back to him and sliding her arms into the coat. Her heart drummed. He pressed his hands firm against her upper arms and squeezed gently._

_Delphine closed her eyes. Swallowing around a lump in her throat as fingertips lightly brushed the skin of her neck. Lifting the ash blonde curls from the collar he stepped closer. She turned her head slightly and studied him from her peripheral. Their eyes locked. She followed his determined eyes as they dropped to her lips, not stopping him when he tentatively pressed his lips against the corner of her month._

_The rough skin against her soft cheek was foreign, but a tingle crept up her spine. Before she was consumed by the unfamiliar he was already retreating, giving her room to contemplate the next move._

_Delphine took a beat. You're just connecting, she repeated silently like a mantra. Maybe it was her own cajoling, but suddenly her muscle tension released along with her inhibition. She turned breathlessly and pulled him down into a heated kiss. Out of instinct she slid her hands up to his cheeks, her fingers new to the coarse texture. Demanding arms reached into her jacket, fierce hands gripped up her back and pressed her impossibly closer to his chest. The room was instantly engulfed by heavier breaths, moist lips parting and reconnecting._

_Adrien dragged his firm palms down her shoulder blades, fingertips rolled over each vertebra before resting at her waistband and gently working at the tucked black silk. The moment his tentative, exploring hands fully met the pale skin of her lumbar and thumbs grasped around her abdomen, she broke the kiss._

_“Attends.” Delphine said breathless, pressing at his chest and grabbing a violating hand with her own. “Désolée.”_

_“Non, I shouldn’t have been so bold.” He shook his head and paused, “You’re beautiful and intelligent, and I’m incredibly head over heels for you.”_

_Her throat tightened, her chest stirred with a tinge of guilt and she whispered, “This is new to me.” There was depth to her admission, newness on many levels._

_“We’ll take it slow. You set the pace.” Sincerity flooded his features, as reassuring hands interlocked with her own._

* * *

_The car sat dark in the driveway, the engine tapping as it cooled. Delphine’s seatbelt remained fastened across her chest. Holding her hands in her lap, she gently rotated the ring with the right one, eyes unfocused._

_When did a person finally say this was the end? That this love was done writing itself? Maybe she would always fall into the group of people that needed another chapter — while others thought, regardless of the ending, it was perfect the way it was._

_Delphine’s gait was slow as she reached the front door. The thought of the tiny blonde on the other side tugged at her heart. She remembered the first time they brought her home, here, together. A stray tear fell against the welcome mat as she pushed the wooden door open and locked it behind her._

_She removed her heels, and hung her coat and bag in the closet. Following the glow of the television, she reached the living room to find Ellie fast asleep, mouth slightly open as her cheek rested against Tori’s shoulder. Tori’s tired eyes drifted up slowly with a soft smile. Delphine smiled back and silently mouthed, “Merci.”_

_Tori didn't press for details on her way out. With vulnerable ears only feet away, it wasn't the time or place. There was always tomorrow._

_Delphine wandered quietly through the house turning off a few stray lights, before finding herself in the doorway of the living room again. The movie quietly rolled through the credits and Ellie stirred on the couch. She took a seat and leaned back against the plump pillow, scooping up a handful of popcorn from the silver bowl and tossing the stale, buttery treat in her mouth._

_“What time is it? Why were you at work so late?” Ellie asked groggy, half asleep._

_Delphine hushed her. “Dors mon amour.”_

_Delphine tapped the controller, starting the movie from the beginning. The room was dark save for the glow of the television. Her eyes dropped to Ellie as she nestled against the arm of the chair, her feet pushing across her Maman’s thighs. Delphine pulled the hand knitted maroon throw from the back of the couch and covered them both._

_“Je t’aime.” Delphine whispered, smoothing the blanket over her daughter’s back._

_“Je t’aime, Maman.” Ellie trailed off, her breathing evening after a few moments._

_Delphine kneaded the blanket with her fingertips, carefully studying the thin gold band that Cosima had slid onto her finger while she slept; sixteen years ago. She tentatively dragged her hand against the soft texture, letting the offending ridges glide the ring up to her second knuckle gradually. Then, reluctantly to the first. Her vision blurred with silent tears as she watched hope teeter beneath a red polished fingertip before taking its final descent and gently, falling forward._

 

 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. Chapter Seven. Let the unraveling begin...

The nylon, pyramid tea bag dunked into the moroccan ceramic cup; the letter C scribbled with precision by Ellie’s once tiny hand. Stray patches of snow were interspersed throughout the curved backyard. Browned, brittle rosemary in the garden wore a blanket of ice. The steel chain of the swing in the corner of the yard most likely frozen and glazed, yet too far to tell.

Memories mounted and cascaded like an unruly wave.

The vast lawn: summer afternoons spent racing Ellie down the meager hill, three bodies rolling with endless fits of giggles. Grass stained knees and lost bracelets. The garden: thatched and seeded their first spring in the house; year three in France. The swing: as a kid, Ellie would beg to go higher, to reach the sky and catch the stars. When she was nine she jumped from the swing while at it’s peak and took a nasty spill. Later, while Delphine carefully applied a butterfly stitch to her daughter’s elbow, Ellie sat wide eyed on the edge of the kitchen’s speckled island explaining the desire to feel what it was like to float, to feel weightless like she was on the moon. Her free hand flailed with excitement, much to their amusement.

Cosima blinked her eyes away from the frosted window, sending the memories back to the past.

She tapped the vine engraved metal spoon against the brim of the cup and placed it quietly against the sink. The cinnamon and orange Pike Place blend wafted, spiraling with the steam. It was reminiscent. Her favorite and she was relieved to see Delphine had kept the tea canister filled. She pulled the sack from the piping hot water and casually opened the lower, rolling cabinet to her left, discarding it into the trash.

Cosima’s curiosity stole a glance down the narrow hall, soaked burnt orange by the early evening sunset. Delphine and Adrien conversed in the wide entry. Their mouths moved inaudibly, exchanging blissful smiles and gentle touches. Dimples gaping, eyes adoring. Delphine genuinely seemed content as they interacted effortlessly. It was a strange sensation. A feeling she hadn’t expected, seeing her ex-lover, mother of her child letting someone else in.

_Was Delphine happy? She looked happy. No. It’s not my business._

Cosima tore her attention away from the hall. Her searching gaze wandered to the furthest point of the counter to a stack of envelopes bound by a rubber band. Cradling the tea cup, she ambled toward the bundle of mail and lifted the stack. The top envelope was addressed to _C. Allard_. Cosima flipped the stack over to find a change of address form never submitted. She placed the stack down and her eyes walked up the side of the refrigerator, her fingers finding the magnet and pulling a single, plastic strip from its clutch. The series of photos were Delphine and a dark haired Ellie making silly faces, except for the last one where they were laughing uncontrollably. The corner of Cosima’s lips turned up. Their smiles were infectious.

The sliding glass door rolled closed and Kira’s boots quietly re-entered the kitchen.

“All set. I just wanted to let my dad know I landed and… _found you_.” Kira said. Her face relieved, her smile hopeful. She perched back on the edge of the stool at the island.

“Yeah totally, I’m sure he was on edge waiting. I know I would be. So, did you pack light? Do you have a suitcase?”

“Yeah, I checked in over at,” Kira silently practiced the French pronunciation and squinted an eye, “Les Jardins du Marais. Did I butcher that?” She asked, with a tinge of embarrassment. Kira’s attempt at the French accent was as good as Cosima’s when Delphine first introduced herself with _Enchante_.

Cosima laughed, “Yeah, I know the place. And, you’re obviously a natural, that accent _flawlessly_ runs in our family.” She winked, opening the upper cabinet and on her tippy toes slid the glass tea canister back into place.

Bouncing back down on her heels, she reluctantly peeked back toward the front door.

Delphine encircled the scarf around Adrien’s neck and tugged at the lapels of his black, wool jacket. She circled back to pick up his keys from the console table, and as if she could sense a heated gaze, she bashfully glanced toward the kitchen. Her eyes knowingly met Cosima’s emotionless stare and contrition filled her hazel orbs. Their connection was momentarily locked until Adrien drew her back in with a hug. It was Delphine’s body language that peaked Cosima’s attention.  The swift change in her demeanor, sudden stiffness as he leaned closer, the reluctant pat on his bicep halting his intended affection.

Cosima casually squared her body back toward Kira, who was studying the distracted brunette closely. Leaning her back against the counter, Cosima lifted her eyes with a smile and sipped the warm sweet, woody tea.

“Well, yeah, we'll pick up your things, no way you're staying at a hotel. We have like, nineteen years to catch up on.”

* * *

Delphine’s thumb and index finger twisted the deadbolt closed. Even as Adrien’s car descended the driveway, the unease and overwhelming tension bore down on her. She hoped for release at his departure, but instead faced the sudden resurfacing of harbored guilt. It was the unfamiliar, disquieting gaze she'd found in the eyes of the woman she’d loved for nearly two decades that had her grappling. The stillness that flooded between them was unequivocally suffocating.

Yet, this couldn’t be about them anymore. _Not now at least._

Delphine took a deep breath and stood taller, turning her gaze to the highest point of the stairs landing. The framed photo of newborn Ellie nestled against a pale, bare collarbone, a blonde curl gripped tight by a tiny fist. A half-zipped backpack hooked to the closet doorknob, drumsticks poking through the opening. Kira’s heavy news was a threat, but her _priority_ was no longer the sisters.

Delphine slowed at the doorway and leaned a shoulder against the white molding, her arms crossed. Cosima sat across from Kira, her fingers tangled in the ceramic handle.

"So, Delly, that's... _endearing_." Cosima chased the tease with her toothy grin. "Has he baked his baguette in your oven yet?" She smirked, wiggling her eyebrows toward the blonde. Kira awkwardly shifted her eyes between them, assessing their reactions and feeling slightly out of the place.

Delphine frowned, poking her tongue into her cheek. Her lips parted and a blush powdered her cheeks. "Cosima... can we?" She extended her hand and motioned toward a door of the dining room.

Cosima pulled her eyes from the blonde with a sigh and pushed her weight onto her feet. Delphine eyeballed the brunette sauntering toward the room. With a twist of the doorknob, Cosima opened the door to their former home office and let the blonde march in before her.

The bookcase that lined the adjacent, red wall was intermixed with empty slots. In front of the tall structure sat the forgotten box of hardbacks and research papers Delphine offered to send Cosima's first semester in Sydney. The flaps still open and labels vacant of an address. Most notably, was the openness of the office, bigger without Cosima's desk. Well-organized without the cluttered colorful, binders and trinkets.

Delphine took a firm stance behind the desk, purposely putting a buffer between herself and the cheeky brunette. She shot daggers across the room. Her hands dug into her hips, elbows extended.

Cosima relaxed her back against the door. She held a calm pose and tilted her head to the side, reading the blonde and anticipating her wrath. She was no stranger to arguments with Delphine, especially this side of them.

"Now is _not_ the time.” Delphine said frustratedly, exhaling and hanging her head.

"Delphine.” Cosima rubbed her eyes from beneath her glasses. “Chill. We've said all of like seven things to each other since I've been back. I'm just trying to be friendly.”

"Oh, is that what this is? We're friends now? Yes, let's _chill_." Delphine released an exasperated breath through a disbelieving smile. She unbuttoned the sleeves of her navy blue blazer and cuffed them.

"Don't scoff at me. I'm pretty sure I should be the one chewing you out for having fucking... Bradley Cooper here."

"C’est ma maison ici!" Delphine snapped back, her hands slapped the bare, walnut surface, her tall stature bent toward the brunette. Cosima jolted upright against the door. The room suddenly colder, the air thick with tension.

Cosima closed her eyes and shook her head. Cheek bones rippling against her skin as she gritted her teeth. With a spurt of anger rising up she lifted her left hand, only to drop it to her side seconds later.

“You’re right. It’s your house.” Calm eyes, ready to add fuel to the fire settled on Delphine’s leering gaze, “But, _my_ daughter lives here and I get a say in who she knows and when she meets them. D’accord?”

“ _Your_ daughter?” Delphine scowled, stepping around the desk. “Are you questioning my ability to know what’s best for _our_ child?”

Giving up the fight, Cosima quivered a disarming sigh. “Just tell me. Has Ellie met him?”

Delphine turned her back and walked toward the window. “She just knows he was a co-worker fixing the guest room sink.”

“She’s sixteen. She doesn’t have her head in the clouds, Delphine.” Cosima said, her breath even, gently shaking her head.

“I know.” Delphine chortled, easing the tension, “Oh, I know.” She tapped the windowsill and circled back toward Cosima.

“Can we try to put _us_ aside for now?” Delphine’s eyes pled, her stiff shoulders relaxing.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Delphine said, lowering her voice. “Because, Kira being here... doesn’t feel right.”

Delphine leaned over the desk, searching her ex’s eyes for understanding about the weight of the situation.

“I’m not even sure where to begin, it’s like we’re looking for hay in a haystack. Sarah could be anywhere, with anyone. She’s clearly unhinged and trippin’ on some new world shit. How do we even know this is a legit threat, and she isn’t just galavanting around with her Nortem drug buddies?” Cosima said, releasing her weight from the door and standing taller.

"We're no longer in a position to take chances." Delphine slipped her hands from her waist and rotated the framed photo of Ellie on her desk toward Cosima.

Cosima stepped to the center of the room, closer to Delphine, her tone lowering to a gentle whisper.

"I get it, okay? Her safety is obviously my priority too. But, we kept _certain_ things from her on purpose, Delphine. For starters, she doesn’t even know our last names, her cousins, your parents, my sisters, and sometimes _I_ can’t even recall which stories are real or ones that we created. Are you ready to explain that to her? How her moms lied to her her entire life? She'll have questions. She probably already does.”

Delphine bowed her head in agreement, expanding her chest with a steady breath. They vowed to protect Ellie even if it meant lying by omission or fabricating wishful fantasies of the past. They'd conditioned Ellie at a young age to be satisfied with the story of their perfect _three family_. But above all, they didn't want Ellie to hold information that could make her a target. They had secrets, _but Delphine harbored the most_.

"Yes, and that's why it's necessary to take this one step at a time."

"Then I'll follow your lead.” Cosima said. Relaxing her jaw, she bounced her eyes back to the box of books and back to Delphine. “...And, for the record, what's going on with us doesn't change the fact that I trust your instincts when it comes to _our_ kid.”

A comforting silence stretched between them. Delphine fluttered her eyes down to her interlocked fingers and nodded once. The reparation of Cosima’s words warmed Delphine, spreading a tingle from the tip of her neck and across her shoulders.

“I have a board dinner this evening at the university.” Delphine said, willing away the tingles settling deep in her chest. While circling Ellie’s photo back, she continued, “I have to attend, but I can check our contact database, see if the name flags—”

Cosima took a step forward, her gray bootie stepping into Delphine’s line of sight. Delphine drifted her eyes up gray harem pants and straight to the brunette’s face. “In the meantime, I need for you to take Ellie for the night. She shouldn’t be alone.”

“Yeah, totally. Without a doubt—”

Cosima was cut off by an abrupt thump against the ceiling, her eyes shot up above her head. The sporadic thump quickly kicked into a melodic sequence, filled with pitched taps and low vibrations.

The racket was subconsciously deflected by Delphine, the drum of her heart syncing along with the pattern above. With a coy glance, Delphine followed the familiar, sweet curve of Cosima's soft olive skin, her jaw tensing and tugging at the tendons of her neck. Her defined collarbone dipped beneath the scoop of her quilted sweater, long dreads splayed against her shoulders, her chest.

"What the hell is that?" Cosima said, her gaze still fixated to the flat, white ceiling.  
  
"That—is Ellie's drum... thing." Delphine deflected her eyes back to the window and rubbed the back of her neck.  
  
"Oh.." Cosima tipped her head back, eyes blinking out a spectrum of emotion, but mostly shades of her own disappointment. At one time, Ellie shared everything with Cosima, but now being on the outside unwillingly was devastating. Cosima had been confident she would come around, but Ellie was stubborn.

"She plays the drums now?"   
  
"Oui, she's in a little groupe." Delphine smirked.  
  
"She joined a band?" Cosima asked, smiling reluctantly at the unraveling realization of Ellie adjusting without her.  
  
"Oui, Headless Bats,” Delphine laughed, “it's absolutely barbaric, but she's happy." The week before, Delphine had surprised Ellie when Tori leaked the time and place they were playing. For days, Delphine savored the moment she caught Ellie’s eye from the corner of the small room and the teenager immediately broke her concentration with a wide, grateful smile.

Cosima’s lips parted and twitched a smile, "Good, happy’s good.”

Delphine could sense the tinge of guilt and loss that was practically radiating off Cosima.

“I’ll ask her to prepare a bag for the night.” Delphine said, passing through the center of the room toward the door.

"Let me?" Cosima absentmindedly pressed her open palm against the blonde's shoulder. Simultaneously, both sets of eyes fell to her hand against the ironed, navy fabric. Cosima froze, and like a switch she disengaged, yanking it away. She rubbed her hands together and circled back to the door. Grasping the knob Cosima paused and glanced over her shoulder, her eyes fixated blankly on the well-organized bookcase.

Delphine raised her eyebrows. "Hm?"

"Now that I'm back, and after we figure out what's going on with Sarah, we should probably talk about how Ellie will, you know, split her time between us.”

Before Delphine had a chance to respond, Cosima slipped from the office. She could hear tattered dreads whipping around as Cosima wrapped them in a loose bun.

“Ready to go in like, five? I just need to go, uh, wrangle Ringo Starr up there.” Cosima said to Kira, heels echoing down the hall and then disappearing entirely as she climbed the stairs.

“Merde.” Delphine mumbled to herself. Rubbing her face, she paced the spacious room a few times, before retreating back to the kitchen.

Kira stood at the island scooping up the stack of paper and folders she pulled from her bag earlier. Her fingers indexed the spines and paused just before the last one, lifting the heavy stack save for a pale blue folder.

“My apologies for the rare form we are in today.” Delphine said, picking up Cosima’s cup from the island and placing it in the sink. She leaned to her left and opened the refrigerator, pulling a worn, black pouch from the top shelf and unzipping it.

“I showed up unexpectedly.” Kira shook her head, lifting the heavy bag onto her shoulder and walking toward the kitchen’s doorway, the blue folder grasped in her hand.

“I don’t believe we have the answers you’re looking for.” Delphine said, replacing the pouches two empty, skinny slots with two sealed syringes beside the snug insulin bottle and refastening the zipper.

"Actually, I think _you_ might." Kira lifted the folder and extended to Delphine.

“What is this?” Delphine reached for the folder and eyeballed the emblem in the top right corner. "Toronto Police Department? You’re a detective?”

“Sort of, but I monitor international cybercrime and security. I’m a hacker, but for the good guys.” She modestly shrugged her shoulders, “I scanned Dyad and Topside’s archived databases multiple times looking for Nortem, but nothing came up. There were thousands of documents, security drives, networks all collected in the siege _sixteen years ago_. Delphine Cormier didn’t exist in the records, until I backed into a firewall containing redacted files, including this one.” Kira pointed toward the folder in Delphine’s hand.

Delphine unsealed the folder, eyes carefully scanning the single sheet of paper. The past dredging up with each scan. Back and forth. A former life: last name, signature, treatments, sequences. She sighed, her eyes fluttering closed, her tongue dragging across her lips with discontent and affirmation.

“Was Cosima aware you were Charlotte Bowles’ physician for nearly three years after you fled?”

“Non, she was–” Delphine began, but lead feet pounding the wood floor above, broke their attention.

Ellie shouted, deliberately slamming her heavy boots down the upstairs hallway and hastily rushing down the staircase. Delphine shut the folder, swiped the black pouch from the counter  and made a break for the hallway toward the commotion.

"Whatever!" Ellie yelled back toward the top of the stairs. She twisted the deadbolt and swung the door open with all her force. The metal hinge ricocheted it back, slamming closed behind her with a startling thud.

Cosima descended the staircase with a duffle bag and oversized, green army jacket. The smirk she carried was painted with both amusement and nervousness.

“What boarding school did you go to again?" Cosima joked rhetorically. Her feet reached the landing and she stuffed the jacket under her arm, opening the door.

“She shouldn’t need it, but just for emergency.” Delphine held out the familiar Insulin pouch for Cosima. The brunette thanked her with a smile and zipped it in the duffle bag.

“Delphine’s going to check the university’s contacts, see if she can find anything. We’ll start there.” Cosima said to Kira before descending the front steps. “Talk to you in the morning.” Cosima called back to Delphine as she made her way down the icy gravel path toward her tiny, burgundy car. Ellie sat in the passenger seat with her attention directed to her knees.

Kira stopped at the steps and turned back to Delphine. “Look, I’m not here to interfere with your and Cosima’s lives. I just want to find my mom and if this Nortem is planning something, then _all of us_ may be in danger. You know how these types of organizations think, how they operate. _You_ were the Director for one of them.”

As Kira followed the path to the driveway, Delphine turned her attention to the car. Cosima smiled and nudged the teenager, but Ellie leaned her bleach blonde hair just below the headrest and rolled her eyes toward the window. Delphine waved, but Ellie just shut her eyes. Regardless of their status, this was her family. And Delphine had never felt more threatened or more protective in her life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in the works since the end of S2. I'm thrilled to finally be sharing. My very good pal tumblweed has been a constant force of insight, positivity and has been an a+ beta - thank you tumbls. Merci, Caro for all your French wisdom. trylonandperisphere for asking all the right questions and being a bad ass beta. And... thank YOU for reading!


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